DECIDING TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY

I'm in a new space at the moment, One that's a blend of exciting, painful, wobbly, challenging. One that's seeing breakthroughs and fall backs...all at the same time. I've been re-learning photography again after taking a step back to see what else. Even after more than 20 years of being a photographer, there is always more to learn, more to stretch myself into, I am forever a student with my work. The last photoshoot I did before I stepped back last year, held onto me. It was a shoot where I tried different things, poses, spaces, I remember feeling excited by the freshness it brought me and so I've been exploring more of that side and I'm loving it. I asked myself 'If I was to produce images that I truly loved, what would that look like, feel like, what would it mean for the women I photograph'... I feel my job as a photographer is not just to take beautiful pictures, its more than that, it's a chance for the woman I photograph to explore, express & to really be seen by themselves. I'm also re-learning more of myself, yes re-learning, again I'm forever a student of my own self. Looking more into my own truth and why I do what I do. It's so easy to not see or dismiss our own bullshit & project that out into the world, it's also just as easy to not see or dismiss our own strengths and the goodness we actually bring. Everything in life is an equal exchange...in any area of life. It's important to recognise when things in your world are unbalanced. Life won't always be balanced equally at the same time, but you know when you're forever standing on one side, giving or taking more than your fair share or when you have one foot in and one foot out. It's these moments you've got to take a really good long hard look at yourself and ask yourself 'Why?' When you can be completely honest with yourself, not only can you start to be honest with the world, you can then re-direct your energy & time into the right spaces, the right work, the right people. If you choose not to face up to it and keep lying to yourself, you will forever stay frustrated at life or something will keep hitting you hard until you pay attention. Deciding to do things differently isn't easy at the beginning, no matter what it is. It takes a lot of trust that you are choosing right by yourself and so you can bring back your best self to the world.