THE MESSY MIDDLE

I thought it was just me...having a moment.

Turns out, it's a common space many arrive at, that can and will look so different to each person, just as life is meant to.

The messy middle.

It's only now that I feel I'm on the edge of it and returning to myself again, but really, who knows...haha there could be more moments to come.

When I think back, my messy middle started at the end of 2020, sure I could point to a number of things, but the 3 years since then has been a bit topsey turvey. I got to a point and threw my hands in the air in a way and felt like I was thown into a maze with no directions to exit. Going in a range of directions, putting down, picking up, exploring. Less and less clarity the more I moved, convincing myself I knew what I was doing, yet at the same time, so many unfoldings occuring. And the past 3 years has been spent re-grouping with myself.

What's me and what's not me....LIKE REALLY

The timeline for the messy middle is different again for each person.

We spend our 20's living life, exploring our world, figuring out who we are.

We hit the 30's where we get serious about building our life, getting married, buying homes, having kids, working, feeling like, we've got this (in a way), we know where we're heading...

For some, in the same decade, that too all comes to a hault.

Oh and then the 40's...start's off ok...I personally was excited about hitting 40.

But the more I walked through my 40's, the more I realised

'I know nothing' haha

I mean, I know stuff (a lot actually),

I'm learning all the time and that will all stay with me, with all of us, but there's still so much to learn and it will never end...

But life starts to humble you in a way.

And what you do know, you realise if you take a 360 walk around it, there's even more to see and know about that very thing. So more curiousty seeps in.

And it starts to pull you back to what really matters at the end of each day.

It's all mattered along the way, but slowy and surely, if you give yourself plenty of space and time to sit with it all, clarity really starts to hit, in a different way.

And remembering everyone is coming from different circumstances, situations, so it can be a real mixture of messiness and beautifuliness all at the same time, for each person.

And again, I really thought it was just me - having a moment or two. Turns out from many conversations and also seeing others, so many people have dropped off, put down, thrown their hands in the air at many different things....all while continuing on with life that needs to be done. Not because they were wrong, but everything needed a little shake up.

Version 4.6 (for me...yours will be different) needed a number of things to be thrown in a colander to see what will stand the test of time and what will drop off.

If you give it time, things really will drop off.

And that's how it's meant to be...how it's meant to go.

Because you can't and won't stay in the messy middle forever,

Like everything, it's just another season of life.

As you start to return, all that's for you, is waiting for you to pick it back up,

To look at it differently,

To do it differently,

To do it in a way that really is the way you want to do it.

In the way you want to believe it get's to be done.

Trust that, hold yourself to that.

Remove the stories you're holding around it, and feel & dream yourself into how you believe it gets to be.

Every single day, we are given a nod on which direction to take, forgive yourself if you don't move the moment you receive it, that's part of the process, but the faster you move towards it, the faster you will step out of the messy middle back into yourself.

Know...everyone is trying to figure out this life, there was no special instruction book given to a special group of people, it's just up to us to take the steps forward to where we want to go. To pass on our lessons and learnings along the way and to not keep it to ourselves, because that there is how the instruction book for life is formed and handed down to those that are following our lead...and they too will add to it in their own way.

As I started to return to myself the word 'Creativity' was loud

So I started to create.

Photography, cooking, writing, collaborations, self-portraits, membership.

I started to move in that direction. It was foggy for quite some time,

And it took me on different avenues I didn't yet know I loved,

But slowly & surely everything has started to become clearer,

Things sure are far from perfect, but I'm on my way back to the truth of me,

I can breathe again.

Please remember....

The art of self (the art of you) is leading the way...let it move you.