WHEN YOU STOP INJECTING DOPAMINE

A lifetime of dopamine hits, thinking the highs and lows are all part of life,

And yes in a way they are, just not to the extreme.

The line between one thing to the next can become blurred.

It's not until you do a good honest cleanse that you realise,

or more so see,

You were chasing a high to feel something,

Such a familiar way of being for so long,

Yet never sustainable.

We inject ourselves in so many ways for that hit, to feel.

Sugar does to us, alcohol, sex without true connection, doom scrolling, drugs, drip fed messages, eating, constant seeking for validation, impulsive spending, constant inspiration or modalities...the list goes on.

Now...we all need dopamine to feel good, absoulfreakenlutely.

But the quick hit really isn't the one.

We know this, yet just like a drug, it takes time and energy to peel yourself off of it,

To face it honestly, and to let go of the pride that whispers,

'Not me, not this'

To know and learn the difference between things,

To not let the wrong 'hit' touch you anymore,

And learn new ways.

The past few years have been the biggest cleanse I've ever done.

Identifying the relationships I had allowed and choosing to walk this season alone,

Stepping into 6 months of alcohol free,

Filling my days with more creating than consuming,

Are just a few ways I've started to move differently.

And the kicker - I didn't feel how I thought I would.

You'd think after a cleanse - you'd feel on top of the world haha,

But the reality - I felt flat and boring.

Not sad, not down...just flat line, neutral.

Creative - yes,

Goal focused - yes,

Family, friends - all yes,

But just me in the in between of it all.

After a convo with a girlfriend about how boring we felt haha,

It got me thinking - Why?

And it's then I realised I'd taken all the unhealthy dopamine hits out of my life,

All the ways that gave me a feeling, one's that came with a drop after the high, that didn't move from an experience to memory that makes you smile, that didn't benefit the long game.

My body came back to neutral.

The place it needed to come to after the rivers where cleansed.

To the person I am without it all.

A space where I get to just be...boring for a bit haha.

Yet also an opportunity.

Where I'm now hand picking what get's to be injected into life, into me, into my world.

Just like beautiful hand picked flowers as you journey along the roadside.

To often we rush to fill spaces,

To fill the boredom,

To fill the quiet.

And even though the feeling is flat, doesn't mean it's wrong...

It's just new.

And really, that in itself is the exciting part.

Just sit, listen and see what's calls you forward,

Life is pretty amazing at what it can do, when you just allow it to do it's thing,

You're more likely to inject the real goodness that way.