My 3 Year Secret Relationship

I've been secretly having a relationship with someone for 3 years. It's been a mixture of ups and downs. I've felt all the feels with this person. At the start it was fun and exciting ha the honeymoon period ya could say, Then it became frustrating and lonely. I didn't know who I was many times, I lost myself many times, I overplayed things many times, I downplayed things many times, I wanted so much to quit this relationship as at times it became too hard. Sometimes I just wanted easy, to go back to comfort, to what I already knew, But something inside me told me to stick at it, to not fold. Something kept telling me this relationship is an important one, one I must have, one I must experience. It's one relationship I've never experienced before, it's different on so many levels. It's one relationship where I've been able to experiment in. This one relationship brought up so much for me that I wondered if it was worth it, worth the pain at times. How could this one person bring up so many different emotions in me. I questioned this relationship many many times. As time went on, I began to understand this person more and more and what it was all about, why this relationship had to exist. And if anything it became easier, It became deeper, The connection got stronger. I started to see where I stood in the relationship. I've been free to find my voice, I've been free to see things so much more clearly, Is it a perfect relationship...nope, not at all, and I know it will never be, but one thing I know for sure, it has served me well in so many ways. So after 3 years, I've decided this relationship is one I want to stay in, One I will never leave...ever. I'm excited to see what more can come from this one roller coaster of a ride relationship. So now that you know I've been secretly having a relationship with someone, You may be wondering who... Well...her name is Charmaine (ekkk third person, sorry bout that)...it's me. I've been having a relationship with me. Some will think that's nothing, many do it, that these words all sounds crazy now haha, But trust me, it's been a big deal for me and crazy, maybe, but I don't care

(I say that with love) I've learnt over this time, the best relationship you could ever have is the one you have with yourself. You will always live with you, so ya may as well get to know yourself on all levels....all levels. And ya may as well start liking who you are, because who you are, there is so much goodness in you, about you, for you. And because if you want others to treat you in a way that works for you, knowing who you are and what you like helps a whole lot.