My scars can not be seen.

My scars can not be seen, They are hidden. They were scars so deep that I wondered at times if I would ever feel normal again or would I always be this shy nervous wreck.

My experience through abuse is different, I had no physical scars, no bruises. Like I said, they were hidden.

For so long I never spoke about the abuse I had endured, in fear of being judged, feeling ashamed and less of a person for it. Until 2 years ago when I started to open up and share my journey thanks to other women sharing their experiences with me.

It was my choice to be in that relationship, It was also my choice to find a way to leave. And some would say, I was chosen to experience it so I could see just how strong I am and to help others in someway. I feel ‘Beautifully Scarred’ is just that,

But let me share this with you.

Although I wouldn’t wish abuse, illnesses, accidents or the likes of, upon anyone, I can now sit and be thankful for all that I have experienced. I am who I am because of it all. I would not be the person I am today, And I kinda like who I am now. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok.

I can now sit here and have compassion, feel love and thanks towards the man who abused me. I can see again what I used to see in him, A man who loved (a little too hard at times) A man who has a heart (with a tough exterior) And a man who I will always share a bond with, Our gorgeous daughter and grand baby to-be.

This is my reason why I wanted and needed to heal myself, for our girl who deserves to have two parents who can be in the same room and have a laugh altogether.

I choose to accept and forgive. It has taken a lot of work but I’m at peace with my past and I believe we can all be if we are open enough to it. And when we heal ourselves it’s amazing the ripple effect it can have on other relationships we also want to heal.

In every bad experience there is always a positive, sometimes you can see it so clearly, other times you have to dig real deep, but it’s there somewhere.

If you are holding on to your past, old stories, old wounds it’s never too late to heal them, to be at peace with them. It’s ok to open up and speak. You deserve a content life Filed with love, joy and craziness.

Xx Char