YOUR PEOPLE ARE CLOSER THAN YOU THINK...

They say to surround yourself with people who uplift you, who inspire you, who leave you feeling better than they found you. And I would have to 100% agree.

Sometimes it takes a while to find those people, the ones you gel with, the ones who you can really connect with. Well how about being apart of creating those humans you love being around...like your children.

Speaking to them in ways that inspire, encourage, question, feel. Allowing them the space to express themselves, yet also guiding them, setting boundaries etc.

Last week, my daughter Summa came around to pick up Naiya, her youngest, as I had babysat the night before. We got into a really cool conversation, something that happens often with us. I had just finished writing and she began talking about so many things I'd just written about...which she had no idea of...it always blows my mind on what can come up.

We are very similar, yet also very different. She is one person I have the best conversations with, one of the most connected, some of the most honest and real conversations. We share pretty much everything with each other. She continues to teach me so much. She isn't afraid to tell me how it is, to question me or to laugh at me at times.

Yes we are mother and daughter and we very much play those roles like most people do, however I'm not afraid to say she is my friend too...our relationship is based on honesty, trust and self-expression and just like all good, real friendships, it also comes with frustration, difference of opinions and sometimes tears (not many these days though)

It was just the two of us for so long that I guess we had that chance for a closer connection from the start, yet I also believe it has a lot to do with the way I speak with my kids that make a difference. I already see it in my younger kids now. Depending on their age, there are limits as how deep we go, however something I've always believed in, is that if they come out and ask a question, they want a straight answer, no bullshit, just truth. If their knowledge of something isn't correct, it is my job to make it clear for them. I've never been a fan of sugar coating, made up stories of why things happen, how things happen etc. And for us this opens up a relationship on honesty, trust and truth. All questions are allowed, no conversation is off the table.

Most conversations with Summa leave us both feeling inspired, possible, enough, open...it's a great feeling. The older she gets the deeper our conversations become, because well, she's an adult now, she's a mum herself now. The more we share with each other, the more we learn, the more we grow.

Conversations with your kids is what connects you together. Listen to them, Hear them, Ask them questions, Let them know it's ok to feel what they feel, be the one who is real with them.

As I continue to parent the next three, I am challenged on things daily as they are often fighting for my attention and that can be so damn testing on me at times...3:1 sucks some days. Yet carving out time at the start and end of each day for each of them, gives them the chance to connect with me, to have a conversation on whatever comes up for them. Some are so funny and crazy weird, other times it's deep, them trying to figure something out about life or themselves...so it's just about rolling with what ever comes up, whenever it comes up.

Raise the people you want to see in the world. Be their truth, be their guide, be their safe place.